This devotion was extremely difficult to write because it deals with some very painful memories. In fact, I held on to it for several months before I finally got up the nerve to send it to The Upper Room for consideration. After it was published, I was surprised by how many people wrote comments. They thanked me for being vulnerable - for exposing the painful struggles they or someone they knew were also dealing with. They said it meant a lot to know they were not alone and that there is hope. I'm glad I followed God's nudge to risk sharing my experience... to tell my story.
When [Martha] had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary, and told her privately, “The Teacher is here and is calling for you.” And when she heard it, she got up quickly and went to him. Now Jesus had not yet come to the village but was still at the place where Martha had met him. The Jews who were with her in the house, consoling her, saw Mary get up quickly and go out. They followed her because they thought that she was going to the tomb to weep there. When Mary came where Jesus was and saw him, she knelt at his feet and said to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, he was greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved. He said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus began to weep. So the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”
Then Jesus, again greatly disturbed, came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone was lying against it. Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, the sister of the dead man, said to him, “Lord, already there is a stench because he has been dead four days.” Jesus said to her, “Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?” So they took away the stone. And Jesus looked upward and said, “Father, I thank you for having heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I have said this for the sake of the crowd standing here, so that they may believe that you sent me.” When he had said this, he cried with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” The dead man came out, his hands and feet bound with strips of cloth, and his face wrapped in a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go.”
Focus Scripture - John 11:43-44 (NRSV)
[Jesus] cried with a loud voice, "Lazarus, come out!" The dead man came out, his hands and feet bound with strips of cloth, and his face wrapped in a cloth. Jesus said to them, "Unbind him, and let him go."
Come Out!
Our house was in foreclosure, I couldn't pay the bills, I had been denied public assistance, and I had three young children counting on me. I was angry, ashamed, and afraid. I felt emotionally and spiritually dead.
When I desperately cried out to God for help, I felt God say to me, as Christ commanded Lazarus, "Come out!" Through my tears, I could sense God's loving whisper, "You don't need to hide in shame. Let your friends and family know what you're dealing with. I'll walk through this with you."
Trusting in God, I realized that my fear of being judged was unwarranted. When I talked about my situation with my family and with Christian friends, I received love and support. They helped unbind me from fear and shame. For the first time in many years, I was free. I could move in a positive, healthy direction, knowing that God was and always had been by my side.
Whenever we are bound by anger, shame, or fear we can cry out to God and trust God to be with us. We can be unbound and free. A wonderful world waits fr us, as do the people who love us and need us.
Prayer
Dear God, free us from shame and fear, and lead us into a new life. Amen.
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