This is something I’ve thought about writing… needed to write… for quite a while now. Here it is and you might not like it, but it’s my story and I won’t apologize for sharing my truth.
Racism.
I’ve been told that I’m pretty “woke” for an older, grey-haired white lady. Ha! I’ve posted anti-racism memes on my FaceBook page, participated in racial justice workshops, studied the school-to-prison pipeline, marched in D.C., come to recognize my white privilege, embraced restorative justice practices in schools, encouraged my students to learn about the valuable contributions people of color have made to science throughout history, and yet…
Racism.
I grew up in the 60s and I remember watching the marches and riots on TV. I especially remember hearing about the assassination of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. the evening of Thursday, April 4, 1968. I vividly remember the adults around me praying that it wasn’t a white man who did it. But it was. Of course, it was. I was twelve years old, and I remember that for the first time in my life I was ashamed of being white – as if the lack of melanin in my skin somehow made me partially responsible for the death of this amazing, prophetic man. I was in 7th grade and it was hard to look my friend, Rhonda, in the eye the next day. We simply didn’t talk about Dr. King's murder. Later that year a boy came up to me in the lunchroom and asked, “Why are you friends with her?” in clear reference to Rhonda being African American. I thought what the hell kind of question was that? I walked away, but I didn’t say anything....
Racism.
High School. When I was sixteen, I remember asking my dad if it would be OK to go out with a certain boy I liked. He was in several of my classes. Dad taught at my school and knew him. The boy hadn’t asked me out, but I thought I’d better ask permission just in case… because he was Black. My dad said sure. But here’s the thing… I never asked in advance about any other boys possibly asking me out… and I realize that’s because they were white...
Racism.
Fast forward to January 1979 during my first year of teaching. I was barely twenty-two years old and a fellow teacher whom I admired greatly and thought of as a mentor started telling “n- jokes” to others in the staff lounge. I’m ashamed to recall that the first time I heard her tell a joke I laughed… not that I thought it was funny… it was a nervous, “I can’t believe I’m hearing this shit” kind of laugh. I was grateful for the fact that she also smoked cigarettes because that gave me an excuse to avoid the staff lounge when she was there. But I didn’t speak up. I avoided her, but I didn’t say anything. To this day I regret my silence...
Racism.
These days I hear – too often – about the racist tweets our current president sends. I watch video clips of rallies during which he allows racist chants. I’m offended by his recent comments about a beautiful city barely 40 miles from where I live. I’m disgusted that the president then referred to a member of congress from my state as being “racist” simply because he stood up to the president’s racist tirade against his district. Since when did being a racist become OK and calling out racism become wrong?
Racism.
What the hell is going on, people? What happened to the progress I thought we had made during and since the Civil Rights Movement? Why is racism suddenly coming back? I think I know because, honestly, I don’t think racism ever went away. It simply became socially unacceptable, so it thrived in less overt ways.
Racism.
Racism has continued in the home during family discussions about who the kids can or can't have as friends, who they can or can't date, who they should or shouldn't marry, and who they will or won't live next door to. Racism has continued in our justice system as evidenced by the disproportionate number of people of color who are arrested and then caught in a cycle of incarceration… when too often a white person who commits the same offense isn’t even arrested or gets off with essentially a slap on the wrist. Racism has continued in our schools through the achievement gap and the number of black and brown children who are suspended – which is far greater than any other demographic.
Racism.
And, to make things worse, today we have religious and political leaders who are basically giving permission for racism to publicly and violently rear its head by turning a blind eye to white supremacy, encouraging fascism, vilifying the media, and falsely representing nationalism as patriotism.
Racism.
Let’s face it… racism is alive and well and thriving. I believe it is our country’s greatest sin. And now I will not be silent. I will call it out. I will march against it. I will stand up to those who make racist remarks. At sixty-two years old I’ve found my voice and I’m giving fair warning that I will use it. If I embarrass or offend, I can live with that. What I can’t live with is myself if, through silence or complacency, I enable racism to continue to thrive.
Racism.
Now I challenge you to reflect on your own story – your personal history with racism. When and where have you recognized it? How has your life been affected by it? How does it impact your daily life? Who is harmed by it? We need to wrestle with this, folks. All of us. We need to look racism in the face then be honest and recognize ourselves in the narrative. Only then can we work together… struggle together to end racism.
